With the start of 2015 there come many resolutions. I’ve never been one to make a resolution. I’ve always been the type that if I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it regardless of the date, day, or beginning of a new year.
I’m not making a resolution, but I am saying to myself that it’s time to take control and make myself #1 at all times throughout this year. That means, removing toxic people from my life, distancing myself from negativity as well as the folks spreading said negativity and always making time for myself without rearranging my plans or putting myself on the back burner to (unnecessarily) help others out of the whirlwind some put themselves into. More than half of 2014 was filled with making others a priority and disregarding plans I had made for myself. A good portion of the year the gym was a distant memory for months on end (but I can proudly state I’ve been active at the gym for 20-weeks in a row!!), food prep was merely an on the fly scenario (which thankfully I now designate Sunday’s as meal prep day) and I allowed others to cast their negative energy into my life and alter my emotional state.
But now a little back story ….
2013 was a rough year for me. I had surgery in April and spent the rest of 2013 trying to recover from that surgery (in case you aren’t aware, I had abdominal surgery and woke up without being able to move my left arm/shoulder, was walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, was on total restrictions from my doctor & spent over 7 months in physical therapy). On top of that toward the end of 2013 I was laid off from my job. I then spent a quarter of 2014 still trying to recover (still today, I’m not 100% but I’m better than I have been). I started working the 2nd quarter of 2014 and I made the decision to get back into the gym. It wasn’t easy at first and it has taken a lot of modifications but I’m stronger than I have been. I know that it’s going to take more time and dedication to get full strength back but the more I work, the better I get.
2014 also brought a lot of change to my life:
- I started getting injections into my neck/upper spine to help relieve tension in my neck, shoulder and arm.
- I spent months visiting doctors and specialists to try and figure out gastrointestinal issues (that oddly, started after my surgery in 2013).
- Working on regaining strength into my left arm with physical activity.
- Ending a 3+ year somewhat dysfunctional relationship.
- Rebuilding my relationship with the gym and my fitness
- Struggling with old “demons” that reared their little heads: stress and emotional eating
- Struggling with one of the toughest 6-months in my weight loss journey where the scale would fluctuate up and down
- Trying to lose 20 pounds I allowed myself to put on in 6-months trying to deal with/figure out life
I’m not pointing the blame on any situation or on any particular person/people. I was silently dealing with issues, trying to figure things out for myself, bottling things up inside, turning to food for comfort on days instead of exercising or venting with a friend. Regardless of all that’s gone on … I know that in my heart of hearts I did not give up on myself. There were instances of time where I was spot-on and great with my food/fitness … and then there would be times where I’d overeat on basically, junk to pacify my emotions. I’d binge eat. I’d stress eat. I’d boredom eat. I’d eat just because. At the core I’ve always been an emotional/boredom/just because eater and this past 6-months has taught me that I’m human and there are times when the things we thing we’ve got under control show us that slip-ups happen. I know that food is not the answer and I know that talking it out helps more than anything. I’m going to work on keeping my focus on that … talk about issues/situations instead of eating over them. Don’t let the emotional eater win because it only hurts me in the end. I realize that with the 20 pounds I have gained that I’m the “heaviest” I have been in nearly 2-years … but I’m determined to not beat myself up over my downfalls because nothing good can come from making yourself feel bad. I don’t want a pity party. I want to motivate myself to be the best possible version of myself for ME!
Now, within the past 3-weeks I’ve started drinking Metamucil (per doctor’s orders). I’m finding it’s something that I need to work with and see if over time my body will react to it better. Right now, it’s making me very uncomfortable, it’s making my stomach sort of “blow up” but I hope with time it’ll help a number of issues on hand. I also hope over time my body will get used to it and not react so harshly to the increased fiber. I eat a decent amount of fiber in my normal everyday food but the Metamucil is a little bump in the road I need to be patient with.
I've made a pretty stand-up schedule for myself at the gym taking specific classes that I really enjoy: zumba, kickboxing, kettlebell, and total body workout. Of course with each new season my gym changes up the schedule to keep things interesting, which will mean trying new classes and new things. I find with each week I'm able to do more and I'm getting stronger. My plan is to also begin working out within the gym on top of in classes to get a full "better bang for my buck".
All instances aside … I hope that 2015 brings increased health, wealth and prosperity for me as well as for you and your loved ones. Here’s to making 2015 one of the best years of our lives!