Learning to Avoid Temptations at Work

As I’ve mentioned before I started a new job last month. I had been unemployed and out of work for a while so it was definitely an adjustment to get used to a new routine. New routine as in prepping my breakfasts, lunches and snacks for the week, adjusting to working an 8-5pm shift, learning new processes at work, and in general trying to be prepared for the day since the kitchen would no longer be below me.

The first week of work was a breeze. No temptations presented themselves, which was calming since the first company I worked at would stock the kitchen with snacks (chips, cookies, pretzels, snack cake, etc). The second week I decided to bring some snacks into work since the folks training me snacked all day … and when I hear crunch, I want a crunch. I soon learned that having untracked snacks in my desk can be dangerous particularly when bored or generally tired from working all day.

There are also other temptations in the work place … but they come with a price tag. That being the 2 vending machines in my works lunch room. There’s a soda machine and there’s a snack machine which houses chips, candy bars and snack cakes. There is  at least 3 chips and 3 chocolate bars that I enjoy.

Admittedly, I’m a person who snacks when bored, tired, frustrated, etc., (it’s something I struggle with from time to time) and that vending machine does sometimes call my name. But how do I avoid it? Well … when I have my lunch I sit with my back to the vending machine. This way, if I’m not staring the machine down, the less likely I am going to feel the need to grab a quick bite. One other thing that helps is the fact that I usually do not carry cash with me. The vending machine takes coins and dollar bills only, so the easy accessibility with credit cards is not there.

There have been occasions where I’ve had cash on me and found myself standing in front of the machine contemplating my choice. But knowing and telling myself “Is this really worth it?” or “Do you have the points for this?” or “Why are you wanting this?” I can typically turn myself around and walk away from the temptation.

Now there are other outside factors which are out of my control which I cannot stash cash away for. This being when I come into work and an email is sent out before 8:30am saying a manager feels like pizza and he’s buying pizza for all. Or there are the monthly celebrations for birthdays of the month where cheesecake or cake is served. Its instances like these where I have to be mindful and make the choice whether I want to partake or not. Also whether it’s worth the added points (or if you could them – calories) for whatever is being served.

In most cases, it's not worth it ... but if it were to be, I'd gladly jot it down in my tracker and keep it moving.

Relearning a Lesson in Resisting Temptation

I've learned recently that I haven’t been dealing with temptation well. I think this goes hand in hand with the fact that I've been kind of floating around in the abyss of losing/gaining/maintaining and haven't really put much thought into it. There are times where I have boldly turned something down because it wasn't worth it to me, but there have been other times where I've just gone along with the crowd merely because.

Its instances like that ... that after a while they add up and they start to make you frayed at the edges. I've never given up on myself, but I have been rather lax in regards to my eating and exercise regimen. Granted, my physical level isn't where it used to be due to dealing with a shoulder injury as well as dealing with the abdominal issues I have to keep in the back of my mind due to the numerous hernia surgeries and general surgeries I have had. I push myself while exercising but I’ve learned to be mindful of my body and if something doesn’t feel right (and not because it’s new) but if it straight up HURTS relax a little. But my eating is something that I control, no one else does ... although I have been letting outside influences sway my judgment and food choices.

I haven’t gotten the weight I gained from a switch in medication off and that just goes to show what I’m doing isn’t working. And going up and down on top of that initial gain is making me feel so sluggish, bloated and icky. So it’s time for the craziness and the madness to end.

During my Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday the topic was surrounding on the question “Is it Worth It?” There was a page inside the weekly that showed a flow chart surrounding the general functions that go on in life where we can have to make a decision if something is worth it to us or not. Birthday parties, work celebrations, holidays, etc. There's always a means for food, for celebration and food pushers trying to get you to eat the dish they “prepared specifically for you”. At one time I had a backup plan for all parties - 1) bring something with me if it was an event food can be brought to, 2) plan as much as possible, 3) plan for an indulgence that I knew I may want and 4) be aware, be conscious and be in the moment.  Lately those plans have gone somewhat out the window and I've what I call “willy-nillied it”. And willy-nillying things just aren’t working anymore.

The meeting topic and the general conversation from the members in my meeting really got me thinking. But what really struck me was a fellow member saying something along the lines of "People bring junk into work all the time and it's not worth it to me if it's not the junk I like.” & “Why eat a cookie, just because it's a cookie? Have a cookie if it's your favorite, you want it and you plan for it." It struck me because I've been finding I've been in that that it's a cookie, eat it mindset and it's not helping me. It's pushing me AWAY from my goal and not bringing me closer to it.

Why eat something that isn't worth it just for the sake of eating it? It's madness! And it is so much easier on my mind and my body if I say no the first time. A bad day can quickly turn into a bad week ... then possibly a bad month. It can spiral and spiral quickly at that. At the end of the day I need to realize that it's food. Food is everywhere. Food will ALWAYS be everywhere. But I need to decide beforehand what is worth it to eat, what isn't and plan accordingly for the things I WANT. Food should be an enjoyable experience because if I'm satisfied with what I'm eating, I won't go back.  That's the key to this whole game: satisfaction. Eating "just because" doesn't satisfy but eating something that I truly want does satisfy and I can have a small piece or a serving size and I'm happy and content.

And I needed this meeting to help switch that light bulb off on my head. It's gone off in years prior but sometimes we truly need to change the light bulb after it's started to flicker.

I don't look at this lesson as a failure, because nothing in life is a failure. Everything happens for a reason and everything happens designed to help us learn a lesson from it. I've learned that I strive with structure, I strive when I allow myself to have a treat that I REALLY want, but when I give myself too much slack I can sometimes take advantage of it because the old habits have a chance to start to creep back. I've also relearned that I'm a priority and that I need to make sure that I'm consciously aware of all situations I put myself in. If it's not jotted down in my tracker, it shouldn't be going anywhere near my mouth. Because if you bite it, you write it and sometimes I've honestly forgot or pulled a "oh I'll do it later" and when later rolls around it's so far gone from my memory that I can't even tell you that I did have the item.

So after this mind awakening Thursday meeting ….I arrived to work Friday morning with my meals and snacks for the day packed in my lunch bag (I’m still getting used to my new routine as I’d been unemployed before this position). My dinner was pre-tracked and ready for me to cook when I got home. But I received an e-mail at 8am saying "I feel like pizza today ...so pizza will be brought in for lunch for everyone." My immediate reaction was semi-panic. NOOO!! I planned my day already! Pizza isn't part of that day! If this happened last week I probably would’ve put my lunch bag back in the fridge and had the pizza. But this week I felt mindfully strong, but I was also aware of how less than stellar I was feeling.

So, what did I do during lunch when there were 8 boxes of pizza sitting behind me? I ate my lunch as I planned and felt proud of myself for resisting temptation. The pizza my coworkers walked by with didn't even sway me, or plant a seed in my head that said “have a smaller slice.” I stuck to my guns and I happily enjoyed my hamburger with salad and for dessert some watermelon and pineapple. I felt good. I felt proud. And I was truly on cloud 9 because it was what I needed to feel to know that I can resist temptation!  And what makes this that much more of a feat? A tray of coconut walnut brownies were brought in after the pizza ... and those brownies were set down RIGHT in front of me ... and I didn't even bat an eye at them.

Talk about one big hour’s worth of Non-Scale Victories!

Removing myself from the dreaded Comfort Zone

Over the course of the last year I’ve allowed myself to get somewhat comfortable in my weight loss journey. It’s certainly not that I’ve given up … but I’ve allowed myself to get comfortable. The downside to being in ones comfort zone is nothing really happens there. You sort of float around, maintaining … which isn’t a bad thing, but at this point in my life and journey I need to push myself to be uncomfortable.

In April of last year, I had surgery. It was deemed to be a routine procedure where the recovery period was to be 6-weeks.  Unfortunately, due to complications, it turned out to be a 6-month recovery. During that time I was advised by my physician to not do any activity. Nothing, nada, zilch. It was a very long 6-months which involved weekly trips to a physical therapists office to try to help myself get better. A lot of frustration – both emotionally and physically and to this day I’m still dealing with a few issues from the procedure.

I’ve been so used to tracking and planning my meals so when I was advised after surgery to eat protein to speed up the healing process, I was like “Alright…”. Truthfully, in my mind, I was like “Okay … I can eat protein and track it.” But during that time I was told to not follow any weight-loss program… so I followed doctors orders for the first 4-weeks and didn’t track but ate mindfully (and maybe subconsciously tracked points in my head just to feel a sense of accountability and not like it was a free-for-all). During that first 6-week period zero activity was fine for me because I had a hard enough time walking a short distance. I suffered an unrelated shoulder injury during surgery and it affected my posture, my ability to move, etc. I had abdominal surgery which also added onto my pain and also added onto some of the complications I suffered.

Fast forward to 6-months post-recovery and I was advised that I could begin activity, in small doses, and do what felt right. I was also advised to not lift anything over 20-pounds for 3-months.

I’ve had my ups and my downs over the last year … but for the most part I have been maintaining. I’m proud of myself for being able to maintain for that length of time, particularly after all the emotional and physical jolts I’ve been through. But now that it’s about a year later … it’s time to put my “big girl panties on” and keep it moving.

 

It’s time to make myself uncomfortable because nothing “life changing” begins in my comfort zone.

My goal weight is within sight, but I don’t want to focus on the number. Focusing on how much I have to lose and how close I am sometimes scares me. As with anyone who’s lost weight we sometimes panic when we’re nearing the end of our weight loss journey and I personally don’t want to freak out. I also realize that since I’ve been a Weight Watchers member for 4-years, it would be REALLY nice to not have to pay my monthly membership once I get to goal and lifetime.

So how am I going to shake things up and get myself out of my comfort zone?

Well, I’m finally going back to work … I was laid off from my job last year and I was recently extended a full-time ob opportunity, which I accepted , that will give me some structure during the day. The kitchen won’t be accessible so I’ll be forced to be prepared. This way, whatever food I bring with me to work will be what I have for the day (all pre-tracked and portioned). My new job is also about a 10-minute drive away from my gym …so that means I can start taking some classes that begin at 5:30pm and I can also include some weight training into my routine. I’m aiming to make a “work, gym, home” routine for myself. Of course I’ll have to coordinate my workouts to work with my physical limitations, while working at gaining more strength without hurting myself. I’ve also been making meal plans for the week, so I can have an idea of foods I have available to whip together for myself, depending on the mood I’m in and if I want to take my time making something or if I want to make something quick.  I’ve also been working on asking myself if I really want something and not just having it because I feel like it or because it’s there and seems like a good idea. Also, working towards eating more power foods and reaching for carbohydrates a little less will definitely help me out. I’ll also be going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier, which will help get me “back on track” in that respect … because sleep is very important not only to function but it can make or break weight loss.

All of these in combination will undoubtedly shake up my world, bring me out of my comfort zone and keep me focused on being a better version of myself each and every day. It may lead to a new routine that is chugging forward instead of floating gracefully in the abyss.

You can’t please everyone – you can ONLY please yourself

Weight loss is a wonderful thing.  When you finally undertake the idea (or if you want to call it, challenge) of losing weight to get healthy – it’s a life changing event.   Anything is possible as long as you set your mind to it and that has truly become my motto.

One thing I’ve noticed during my 3-year long journey is that not everybody you know (personally or second person) or even people online are going to be your personal cheerleader.  It’s fabulous to have an amazing support system, but there are times where you feel like “the world is against you.”  In times like that, it’s best to remain as positive as possible and think of why you started your journey.  I personally started my weight loss journey for me and for me only.  No doctor, no family member, no potential future possibilities pushed me to join Weight Watchers.  I made a conscious decision because I wanted this for me and that was the first time in my life I’ve ever wanted AND done something for myself that had substance to it (that is excluding going to college – but with that choice I had a lot of help and guidance along the way).

Personally, when I was at my heaviest I was told that I was too fat.  I was too unhealthy for my age.  I should really consider losing weight.  I had “such a beautiful face” (why is this a universal term?).  I was in a road to devastation.  There were comments after comments because at the end of the day, almost everyone had one.

When I joined Weight Watchers there may have been a bit of skepticism as to if I was going to follow the program and/or give up.  But as I continued along with it and continued to lose weight I heard a lot of supportive comments.  You’re doing so well.  I’m glad you’ve decided to change for yourself.  I wish you the best. You’re looking great.  Oh my god, how much have you lost?!  Comments like that continued for about a year and it really helped in boosting my confidence.  I had family, friends and people in my Weight Watchers meeting rooting for me, praising me for my dedication and cheerleaders.  It really helped.

When I hit about the ~160 mark my “slimness” started to show.  My collar bones were prominent (as they should be) – and I was still over 200 pounds.  I started to receive comments like: how much weight have you lost?  What is your goal weight?  I think you look perfect as you are right now.

There are times when the smaller (and I am talking still healthy in terms of your attending physicians, your BMI chart [according to the BMI chart I’m technically still ‘obese’] and even your weigh-ins) you get, the “nastier” (that’s a stretch – but sometimes words can get that way) the comments can get.  Not for everyone, but for some.  The comments about you being too fat suddenly turn into comments about you being too skinny.  You look unhealthy.  You look like skin and bones.  You look like a skeleton.  You need to stop losing weight.

I am not saying everyone says these things and I am not saying that everyone will experience things like this on their journey.  But what I am saying is that as long as you are happy and healthy that is ALL that matters.  Everything else is mute.  If your doctors approve of your physical condition and weight, if you’re eating your recommended daily in-take of food, if you’re doing things the healthy way (exercise, etc.) and you are in a happy place – that’s all that matters.  All those other comments are just words.  Words we learn (or will need to learn) to let bounce off you.

Sure, I have moments of weakness where I can’t take the negativity. I am human.  I have feelings. But it’s up to me to choose how I deal with it.  And I know deep down in my heart those words will not push me to be nearly 400 pounds again.  My happiness and my journey cost more to me giving up and appeasing anyone.  And even if I did gain weight – that wouldn’t please anyone. It certainly wouldn’t please me.  So I’m focusing on me and I’m focusing on me only.  My health. My happiness. My journey.  I’m not unhealthy; I don’t starve myself (I LOVE FOOD) and my doctors are the happiest they have ever been with me in my LIFE.

I think we (me) sometimes need to remember that we were a particular weigh/size for so long that those who were around us have a hard time seeing the new us.  Even if that transformation took 3-years, it’s still a drastic transformation.  But in the end of the day – the only person you can aim to please is yourself.  So that’s all I’m going to do because I enjoy happiness too much to let anyone take it from me.